NobodyвЂ™s gonna win anything for tracing a masterpiece and then painting by numbers. Herein lies the blandness of it all вЂ“ theyвЂ™re all just fine. While les hasbian Anne Heche (whereвЂ™d shego?) is acceptable as Marion and the always lovely Moore is equally fine with being Lila, as is Macy as the detective. Vince Vaughn wasnвЂ™tВ the big star he now is (and possibly now was) back then and does okay with the role butВ is simply too hulking and broad to play a cross-dressing mamaвЂ™s boy convincingly. Otherwise,В things otherwise clunk along in a Xerox of 38 years before but the dialogue now sounds out of place (Walkman line excepted) and the almighty cast of players is reduced to imitation rather than expression, making me wonder why any of them wouldвЂ™ve signed up to star in something where thereвЂ™s so little вЂactingвЂ™ for them to doвЂ¦ Whassat about? Did she run it over? Was it a foreshadowing? Is it Psycow? All I remember of the вЂњnew-nessвЂќВ was thatВ Norman Bates cracks one out watching Marion take a shower andВ Julianne Moore utters the batty line вЂњhold on while I get my Walkman,вЂќ upon which the audience decided to start laughing.Д¬uriously, Van Sant adds a surreal little montage right before Marion is stabbed, which, I assume was supposed to represent life flashing before her eyes, which included a cow (or possibly a sheep?) in the road. IвЂ™ll slap myself in the face withВ a custard pie for that one.ДЄnd so it came to beвЂ¦ Various filmians moaned before the project even went into pre-production and now itвЂ™s all but forgotten and itвЂ™s easy to see why вЂ“ itвЂ™s been asked a gazillion times but, Mr VS вЂ“ what was the point?Д«esides being in colour, and updating some dialogue and the amount of money Marion Crane makes off with, Psycho вЂ™98 re-treads the boards down the composition of shots, angles, effects work (ArbogastвЂ™s backward tumble down the stairs) and characterisations. Cowell, of course, wouldвЂ™ve made it into a musical and cast Leona Lewis as Marion Crane so she can keep bleeding, keep, keep bleedingвЂ¦ OK, crap joke. You know when Simon Cowell drones on about вЂњyou made that song your ownвЂќ (even though they quite clearly bastardized it), Gus Van SantвЂ™s strangely hollow project to simply re-shoot Psychoin colour with very few modifications of era is similarly perplexing.

With all the horror community hoo-hah over the endless stream of remakes nвЂ™ such ruining our favourite classics, itвЂ™s easy to forget that the most classic of classics got refunked back at the arse end of the 90s.ДЄlthough calling Psycho вЂ™98 a remake isnвЂ™t strictly true, itвЂ™s more like a cover version without any stamp of ownership. Macy, Philip Baker Hall, Robert Forster, James Remar. Director: Gus Van Sant / Writers: Robert Bloch & Joseph Stefano / Cast: Vince Vaughn, Julianne Moore, Anne Heche, Viggo Mortensen, William H.

Psycho 1998